Mike Lawton (Bryan Brown) (a hitman), Maurice Horton (Richard Griffiths) (expecting some middle-aged dating agency nooky), and Melvyn Orton (Dudley Moore) (checking out properties for his boss) converge on the Hotel Gabrielli in Venice, Italy. Linguistic mix-ups by the staff mean each of the trio get wrong instructions for the next day. So Maurice meets up with puzzled estate agent Caroline Wright (Patsy Kensit) to see what she's offering, Melvyn attempts to make a gang of hoods an offer they can't refuse on their villa, while Mike sets off to rub out a lonely-hearts lady from Huddersfield.—Jeremy Perkins {J-26}